As part of my frequent business travels, I often find myself in some very un-glamorous places across the US of A. Such is the nature of working with chemical manufacturers. My latest excursion has landed me in the bustling metropolis of Commerce, GA. Located off of I-85 in the NE part of the state, Commerce is the kind of place where the #2 restaurant on Trip Advisor is Longhorn Steakhouse. I'll let you use your imagination, but there is not much here besides a Tanger outlet mall and chain restaurant after chain restaurant. (As an aside, do you think the mall was put here solely because the name of the town was Commerce or was the town name changed to accommodate the mall? It's the chicken or the egg debate all over again.) Anyway, it was here that I was privy to several off the wall situations that all occurred within a few hours of being inside the town limits.
Upon checking into my reputable chain hotel (alright, it's a Hampton Inn), I tried my room key only to find that it did not work. I went back to the front desk and had to wait behind several people being helped by the one attendant. The desk guy was a youngish bro who looked not far removed from graduating with a PRTM degree from Georgia Southern, probably with a solid GPA of 2.0, right in the meaty part of the curve. This bro was way overmatched for all the curveballs about to be thrown his way. Unruly Customer #1 was an older woman who was trying to use one of those prepaid credit cards to pay for her room. The card had $100 on it, but her bill was $100.16. Since the card did not contain enough funds to cover the entire amount, it was declined as a form of payment. After paying in cash, she decided that was unacceptable because she needed the cash to go shopping at the mall. Apparently, the stores she frequents (Stride Rite?) do not accept these types of cards. She demanded that her cash be returned and that her bill be split up to use $100 on the card and $0.16 in cash. Overmatched bro had no idea how to arrange this type of transaction and to make matters worse, he had already put the cash in the safe and only the manager has access to the safe. The manager who would not be in until the next day at 6 AM. Defeated, the woman and her husband stormed off and hoped that her store (As Seen on TV?) would accept her gift card. I'm not sure what type of person travels only with $100 cash and $100 on a prepaid gift card, but I would sure love to know what landed her in this situation.
The next customer may have been even stranger. Two twenty something guys dressed like construction workers got a room and wanted to pay in cash. The total was about $96 and the first gentlemen handed the attendant a single bill. Overmatched bro took a look at the bill and froze like a deer in headlights. He replied, "I don't think I have enough change to accept this," before handing it back. I didn't get a good look at the bill, but what could it have been? A $500 bill?? A $1,000 bill??? A quick Google search of the US Treasury shows that the current highest bill in circulation is the $100 bill. Anything higher was taken out of circulation in 1969!!! So, what in the world did this guy try to pay with and why did he have a bill that large? My theory is that they were meth dealers and the Czechoslovakian broker they sold to operated in extremely large currency. We all know how the Czechs love some blue ice. The mysterious meth dealers took the bill back and paid with a card before retiring to cook a fresh batch underneath the local dry cleaner.
To finish off my situation, the hotel card machine was broken and overmatched bro was unable to reprogram it to open my room. All other rooms were booked, so he had to let me in with the master key. Curious, on the way to the room I asked him what would happen if the card machine was still broken tomorrow and someone did not return their room key? "I guess nobody's getting that room, then. Good thing I'm not working," he replied.
Welcome to Commerce, GA.
